Dating is an expensive game. My last date certainly showed just how much some people are willing to pay to impress you if they think you’re worth it.
My date, Private Concierge, was old school to the max. After some intense wooing, DM insta game and proving he was as foodie as me, he turned up suited and booted at Mr Foggs with two glasses of champagne (£15x 2) waiting when I arrived. I was late, of course.
We downed the glasses as my tardiness had us in a rush for the next installment of Operation Woo Me. We skipped across the road in theatre land, Covent Garden to The Duke Of York theatre for a showing of one of my favorite plays, ‘The Glass Menagerie’ (very good seats, £60 x 2). The performance was actually extraordinary, go and see it. Even Private Concierge (who admitted he never went to the theatre and was more into grime than Godot) seemed to be enjoying William’s commentary on social standing, money, marriage and security.
Come interval, and parched, PC wouldn’t even let me buy him a bottled water (£2.50 x 2) and we snatched a little conversation before heading back in.
Elated by the performance, rather than the compatibility of my date and I, we wandered towards what I thought would be the tube, only to be ushered into fleeky fish restaurant and celebrity haunt J. Sheekey. My gentle hinting couldn’t convince PG that we really didn’t have to eat so fancy so we chatted another two hours (It was a Monday night…) and two more champers, three courses and a coffee each later (£150 + without service) I was finally allowed to get the last tube home back to my Brixton hovel.
Whilst the bubbles went down a treat, the shashimi was excellent, the squid tempura crisp and service stellar, I felt a little shortchanged. Sure on paper this may be the perfect date, but he wasn’t mine. He was polite, engaging, clearly thought I was catch of the day and had gone to an immense effort to prove that, but every minute more I spent in his company I did so with the guilt of the expense of the date hanging over me.
Sat in my kitchen, downing unfiltered tap water in my kitchen, I sent a thank you text but knew I would rather have been in a small town Nandos, having a laugh a minute, sharing a refill soft drink and going dutch with someone who I clicked with.
Cost of date: approx £320 without service. Thankfully he didn’t take my offer up to split…
GO to see some stand out theatre – there are £10 tickets available if Private Concierge is unavailable to take you himself
Go for incredible seafood
Don’t go on a Monday night
Don’t walk to the wrong Mr Fogg’s