Things people say to me because I’m brown.

1. On hearing I speak a different language, many a person has asked me:
Q Say my name in Creole.
A Your name in Creole is Rob.
A Your name in Creole is Emma.
A Your name in Creole, is your name. IT DOESN’T CHANGE! IT’S YOUR NAME!
2. Concerning my brown skin:
Q Are you Pakistani?
A No.
Q Are you Indian?
A No.
Q Are you Bangladeshi then?
A No.
Q (Looks confused and dazed) What are you then?
A If you mean, “why are you not white,” it is because my parents are from Mauritius.
3. On the idea of love and marriage.
Q. Are you going to have an arranged marriage?
A. No. No I’m not.
4. After saying something that could be considered racist, the chauvinistic, slighlty flustered man (he’s usually male)  squawks out
“Anyway, I’m not racist, My uncle’s daughter’s cousin is black and we love him.”
Warning: Racists aware of the social ramifications of being racist often cite knowing and liking one black person as scientific proof that they are not racist. There have been no studies to show this is true.
5.My favourite question is this
Q Why don’t you go back to where you’re from?
Usually, I get this one after work so I’m just on my way back to my nondescript suburban home anyway. In which case my answer is:
A okay.
6. When it’s sunny and warm, I may get asked,
Q Do you get a tan? Does your skin burn?
Contrary to popular belief, brown people have normal skin, bar some added melanin. So my answer is
A Yes I burn/tan.
So there you go! If you had any burning questions connected to my chocolatey toned skin, I hope I’ve answered them.
If not, please feel free to ask away. No matter how stupid they may sound…

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