Every year, Muslims around the world partake in the month of Ramadan. During this one month, Muslims are required to abstain from food and drink, smoking, gossiping, and any other bad behaviour during the hours of sunlight. This is to try and not only empathise with those who have less than them, but also,to be the best kind of human being they can be too. In this month, many people also opt to give the obligatory charity; a percentage of their salary required to be donated to those less fortunate than them. Let’s just say though, it’s not always easy being a regular saint when all you can think about is food…
Every year, without fail, when I fast these things happen.
1. Food Fantasy’s
Have any of you seen Madagascar when all of a sudden all of Alex’s friends appear to be steaks? Well that’s how the general population looks to a faster too. Whether they be a big juicy sirloin, a buttercreamed cupcake or a cheesy slice of pizza, all that I can think of is food! conversations suddenly become peppered with food analogies and connotations until a simple maths lesson about pie charts can leave you salivating and positively faint with hunger.
2. Food Fights.
In my house, every fast is broken with a date, inkeeping with the tradition started by the prophet. Waiting for the sun to eventually disappear over the horizon, is excrutiatingly slow and painful, but what makes it worse is having to smell and look at all the delicious food in front of you going cold whilst you wait for the right time. Once the obligatory date has been chomped through, my family descend like a hoard of vultures on whatever food is on the table. Probably not really compliant with how we’re meant to conduct ourselves- but hunger changes people…
3. Is it spitting?
When fasting, one might find they have an unusual amount of saliva in their mouths ever ready to digest just in case you accidentally eat a morsel absentmindedly. This can pose some real problems in conversation when you find yourself giving your colleague a liberal saliva shower when they simply ask how you are, leaving both parties a bit sodden and mortified.
4. Grumpy- Grumpyson
During Ramadan, Muslims believe the Devil is locked up so as not to tempt you. This is untrue. I am the devil when I have gone long enough without food. Glorious food.
5. Eyes bigger than your stomach.
The seconds are ticking closer to the time you can eat and you’ve been shopping filling two trolleys with all the delicious food your going to positively devour come time to eat. However, you’ve piled your plate high with croissants, pizza, chips, nachos, donuts, etc etc, had your date, some water and suddenly, maddeningly, you’re not that hungry anymore.
Ramadan can be a very trying month for Muslims, but it’s also greatly rewarding too. So, sorry in advance if I suddenly morph into the devil child when I spot you with a Boot’s meal deal, spit all over you when I come and say hello, or suddenly look at you like your a chocolate eclair, I’m fasting- ok?!